Newborns and Sleep Training: What to Expect

The quality of a baby’s sleep keeps many parents awake. From frequent feedings, “day-night reversal,” and loud grunts and sighs, typical newborn behavior can have parents asking: “When is sleep training safe for our baby?”

In fact, questions about newborn sleep are often on parents’ minds well before birth. An abundance of warnings (“you’ll never sleep again!”) and advice (“sleep training must be done early or else …”) leaves many pregnant and postpartum parents anxious and confused.

Fortunately, we now know more about the science of newborn sleep, and postpartum doulas and sleep coaches are available to help parents balance their baby’s age-appropriate snoozing with their own adult sleep needs. As you navigate this aspect of parenting, remember that different strategies work for different families. You know best what feels right for your family, and Metropolitan Doulas is here to help you meet your goals.

Sleep Shaping vs. Sleep Training

Parents often ask us if sleep shaping and sleep training are the same. Not exactly.

Sleep shaping is a gentle, long-term approach to help build healthy sleep habits from birth. Parents can build these habits by exposing babies to daylight and keeping nighttime dark to encourage day-night recognition. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine and gradually breaking feeding (breast or bottle) and other soothing associated with sleep can help create an environment conducive to sleep. At Metropolitan Doulas, we help parents learn to spot and respond to sleep cues in the early days with a newborn, building good habits from day one.

Sleep training uses specific techniques to help babies self-soothe and fall asleep independently. There are many sleep training methods, with varying structure and contact between parents and babies. The Ferber method – when a baby is placed alone on a sleep surface after the bedtime routine and soothed at progressively longer intervals – is most well-known. It is often confused with the Cry-it-Out method in which soothing is withheld entirely. Other, gentler, methods include Check-and-Console, Pick Up/Put Down, and Fading, and No Tears. (Read an overview of these methods here.)

What is the Right Age for Sleep Training?

Assuming a baby is full term and healthy, sleep shaping is a better option during the first four to six months after birth, as the circadian rhythm or internal body clock develops naturally. During these first months of life, disrupted night sleep is healthy for babies as they quickly grow and their brains mature.

Sleep training is more appropriate for babies around six months and older, when most babies cognitively understand their caregiver will respond to crying. After the newborn stage, infants are able to safely sleep in longer stretches and may have nighttime needs that do not require immediate hands-on parenting.

These are general guidelines and babies are not all the same. Some babies, according to Royan, respond positively to the Ferber method as young as four months, while others need more time. She encourages parents to consider their family’s preferences and their baby’s age and temperament as they make decisions about sleep training and techniques.

“I’ve had the gamut – clients who want to do it themselves with some virtual advice and others who check into a hotel, leave the baby with me, and return every morning for the report. Whatever you decide, be consistent and know you’re doing a good thing. Teaching your sweet baby that they have the power to have the ability to sleep well is the gift that keeps on giving. This skill will last for a lifetime.”

Doula Royan’s TOP TIPS for Getting Started

While sleep shaping can begin soon after birth, some parents choose to wait. This is absolutely fine, but Royan recommends not waiting till parents are too exhausted (to even think, let alone start an intervention, however gentle) and definitely checking in with the pediatrician beforehand.

Start by recording your baby’s sleep, play, and feeding habits over a few days. Record how often and how long each activity typically takes, along with any notes you have about cues you (or another caregiver) notice about when your baby is ready for each activity and how you know they’re ready to move on. These notes may surprise you and will definitely paint a clearer picture about what parts of your routine can be adjusted.

Periodically place a baby on a sleep surface – ideally drowsy but awake – in a dark or dimly lit room for an easy step towards early shaping. These initial attempts can minimize a dependency on rocking or nursing when repeated over time. A double swaddle (such as a blanket under a sleep sack) can also help mimic the comfort of being held and reduce the startle reflex. (Here are some guidelines on swaddling.)

Like forming all habits, consistency is key. Try to take breaks only if a parent or baby is sick or delay if travel is in the cards. And above all, know that you can do this and there is help if you need it! This includes Metropolitan Doulas, where our team members include sleep specialists and overnight doulas like Royan, who spend their waking hours helping you help your baby sleep.

If you need help maximizing your sleep, contact us today for a free consult about how Metropolitan Doulas can support your family…day or night.

Big thanks to Royan Miller for sharing her insights and expertise with us!!