The Twin Transition: Preparing for the Fourth Trimester

Guest bloggers Linda and Sharee are lifelong friends and co-founders of The Twintellect. This blog shares their experiences as parents of twins and offers strategies for other parents of multiples during the fourth trimester.

We won’t lie – twin newborns are so exhausting, we don’t actually remember a lot about the first year. Which is a very good reason not to sweat the small stuff, by the way. (Just take lots of pictures!) But there are some useful things to keep in mind, especially in those first weeks home, to set yourself up for success over the long term. We can boil it down to one axiom, though:

There are only a small number of things that must be done and that only you can do. Anything else can wait or be outsourced to your partner, a friend or family member, and/or a professional.

What do we mean by “small number of things?” Here’s a quick example: sleep. Only you can sleep for you. Dishes, laundry, meals, and washing bottles, and even feeding the babies, can all be outsourced. You cannot outsource your sleep, the fresh air you need to clear your head, or the walk with a friend that will help you feel more like yourself and less like a subordinate to the adorable but demanding new members of your household.

Here are a few other tips to help smooth the transition during that fourth trimester.

Prepare for Extra Trips to the Pediatrician

Even with optimal outcomes, you’ll likely see the pediatrician more than a singleton would in those first few weeks. The most common reason is that it is not unusual for twins to be low-birthweight (under 5lb 8oz). This means a little extra monitoring in the early days to check the rate of weight gain. Some insurance plans will cover a visiting nurse to come to your home to weigh babies and check vitals. 

Use Lactation Support or a Postpartum Doula

Check to see if your insurance plan covers the cost of home visits by a breastfeeding specialist. If you plan to breastfeed, it is helpful to have the support of experts. Credible advice on ways to increase your milk supply or different ideas for tandem feeding will reassure you that the babies are drinking enough. They also help with strategies for pumping while breastfeeding. 

If you want to level up, a postpartum doula has lactation expertise, plus looks after mom to make sure she is healing, rested and hydrated; helps with family bonding (including support with siblings); and does light housework.

If you are interested in a postpartum doula, you are on the right website. Metropolitan Doulas has a large team of providers, many with extra training and experience in lactation.

Go for the Hospital Grade Breast Pump

If you are breastfeeding, make your life easier and rent a multi-user breast pump (also called a hospital-grade breast pump) for the first few months. It is faster and more reliable. If you are breastfeeding and pumping for two, efficiency is paramount. After those first months, the typical breast pump is fine. 

Keep the Babies in Sync

Life will be far less complicated if your babies eat, sleep and play at the same time. This is not to say you must be ruled by the clock, with meals, naps and outings at the same time every day. But if one baby eats, plays and sleeps while the other sleeps, eats and plays, you will not only never be finished preparing or cleaning bottles, but you will also never get a break.  It may seem counterintuitive to coax your infants into a schedule, but those adaptable little suckers will ultimately thrive with a consistent routine.

Protect your Sleep

Ok, you will get a LOT less sleep. But please sleep when you can. Forget the laundry or prepping dinner – if those babies are asleep, you lay down too. Remember our axiom: this is one of the few things only you can do. Self-care includes having someone come over so you can get a solid block of sleep, or a postpartum doula or night nurse to cover overnight feedings a few days a week. If doing it for yourself isn’t reason enough, you must rest to take optimal care of your babies. 

Accept Help and Hire Help

If you have a partner, you are starting your parenting life in a two-on-two situation (or you’re suddenly outnumbered if you have an older child), whereas everyone else gets to ease their way in with more adults in the room than crying babies. Extra hands will make a difference.

It is ok to hire a babysitter when they are infants so you can spend uninterrupted time with your partner or friends (seriously, infants are the easiest version of your children to babysit!) If it is remotely possible to have a night postpartum doula or nurse for even a couple of nights a week, do it. I do not know a single person who would turn down the opportunity to fold tiny, freshly laundered onesies for you while they hang out to catch you up on the latest office gossip/social media trend/night out they had. Let them! This is how people get invested in your new family.

This is a time to experiment and adapt, a little at a time. You may not remember every detail of these first weeks, but if you can look back and have good, warm feelings, that is a win.

Author’s Note:
This post reflects our personal pregnancy experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It is not intended as medical advice and should not replace guidance from your health care professionals. Health matters during pregnancy — especially twin pregnancies — can and will vary widely. Always consult your healthcare provider when you have questions or concerns.